Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
