i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
