my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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