My room smells like vodka and shame
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
