If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
