Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
