If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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