There was a lot of him and a little penis
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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