It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
