How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
