my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We got so high we made milksteak
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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