So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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