i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
