just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
