there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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