Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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