Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
