so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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