So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
