Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the day after is always just damage control
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
