I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
