high people should be assigned attendants
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
