oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
