She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And my parents said I crawled through the house
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
