i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The uberlube is also flammable
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
