It was confusing and full of hummus
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
