remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
