oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
