You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
