I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
