sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
