why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
