A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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