Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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