Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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