what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
