Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
