we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
