Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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