I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
