I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i barfeds in our rink
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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