Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
not ubering you a puppy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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