Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
