i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
