sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
