you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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