Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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