That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
