so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
