He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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