i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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